Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The Rob Rain Theory

Okay. I recall my previous theory where I explained that hobos were really just Rob's more dedicated and somewhat smellier fans. And I realize now that that theory makes no sense. Hobos were here before Rob was even born. And if they were REALLY dedicated they would be surrounding him in this picture:

Instead it's just some wannabe hobo, who kinda has a beard and kinda got the wear whatever you saw on the floor first thing this morning look going for him. But the glasses!? You did not see those on the floor buddy. And then there's Fangirl on the right.

But I think I'm onto something with this next theory.

Now, if you live in the northeast you've probably noticed there's something different this summer. Something's off.

"WHY THE HELLS IS IT RAINING WHEN IT SHOULD BE BURNING!?"

The answer is simple, my confused reader (if I have any). Rob is causing this.

Now I know what you're thinking:
"ROB WOULD CAUSE SPARKLY UNICORNS AND MAGIC GUMDROPS TO FALL FROM THE SKY, NOT WATER!"

Don't you understand!? New York City itself is trying to trap him here. When Rob has to go leave on a plane to whereverland (probably Vancouver), the city will delay his flight with rain and wind and he will be forced to live here forevermore. Doomed to be clipped by taxis every Thursday and mobbed by Fangirls every other day in between. But the city itself, is selfish and wants Rob all to itself even if he won't film anymore movies outside of NY.

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